What’s happened to me?

buy Lyrica online cheap I’ve been trying to write a post for over a week now. Having loads of ideas about the books I’ve been reading, the funny things that no one tells you about pregnancy, doing my best not to have a massive political rant etc etc. But it’s just not been coming, I can’t get the words out and I think I finally know why. I can’t seem to find myself and my voice because I don’t know what’s happening to me, as in my mental health “me”.

http://araliasystems.com/sustainable-security/ Pregnancy Mental Health

buy provigil egypt I’m finding each day a chore, struggling to put a smile on and enjoy things I normally love. Struggling to find interest in my work or hobbies. Struggling to properly interact with people without having to put a fake face on. Now that the secrets out of the bag I’ve had so many friends and well wishers getting excited for me and wanting to share in my joy, but the thing is I can’t find the joy? I can’t seem to find the excitement? Where is it…?

I have worried that maybe I’m getting a bit depressed, I’ve had depression in the past and working with teenagers all day I definitely know the markers. But I don’t think it’s quite that bad yet, I’m just not me and I really want to know why and get back to it. I want this pregnancy with every fibre of my being, I want to be excited and coo and squeal and stare longingly at miniature sleepsuits. I want to check my 9 pregnancy apps every day to see what if anything has changed. But I’m just not.

A few people that I’ve confided in have been really helpful and reassuring. My husband is fantastic, looking after me despite being exhausted and stressed himself; letting me sit quietly when I need to, encouraging me to sleep properly, making me laugh and distracting me when he can see it’s getting too much. My very northern best friend has given me the “be reet” chat and helped to cheer me up and distract me with the oddities of house sharing and a new relationship. My mum friends have reassured me that this is normal, just to remember the insane amount of changes going on not only in my body but the baby’s too. Not to mention the many many hormones pinging their way around my body, it’s bound to have an effect. And then there’s my friends who haven’t understood why I’ve been hiding in the house hugging hot water bottles and avoiding all contact. The ones who ignore my apologies and don’t even bother replying, that hurts and then sends me right back to feeling not “me” again.

So what to do now?

I’m determined I’m not going to let this feeing overwhelm me, I’m going to make myself do the day to day things. Try and smile and take joy in the stupid and inane things that cross my desk each day. Try and look at the baby books and apps, get excited about names and size of the baby and of fingers and toes (I’ve got a kiwi sized little one right now).

I’m also doing my best not to let the negative things cause more problems; the friends who don’t reply, the things that go wrong at work, money worries or stress, just anything. Water off a ducks back – that’s my goal!

Anyway. I think I’ve now got these rants/thoughts out of my system. Hopefully. I know the feeling isn’t going to go away just because I will it, but I’m stubborn and I’m not going to give in. I also know where my line is and I know when I need to ask for help – luckily for me I have a fantastic support network.

If you’ve read this to the end, thanks for sticking with me and if you’re feeling this way yourself – please talk to someone and don’t try and struggle on alone!

Lucy At Home
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The Mothers

Quick disclosure – I love my mum and always will – I also have huge amounts of respect for all mothers.

But in the last few months I am coming to realise that a mother’s worries often spill out to well meaning moaning and nagging with a side of guilt. On a colossal scale.

My own well meaning and moaning mother is a woman I greatly admire, she raised three kids and has been through more than anyone should rightly have to. However, my well meaning and moaning mother has taken it upon herself to worry about my weight and health. Resulting in almost constant contact in one way or another.

As such we have now joined Slimming World together so that I can try to convince her to calm the F down!

My reasons for bringing in the new year with a change are multiple and I will be expanding on these over the next few months, however for the case of this post we will focus on the mother’s influence.

The relentless bombardment via text messaging, Facebook, Whatsapp, calling me and good old fashioned turning up at your house to nag means that it was just easier to shut her up and go along with what she wanted.

However, in the two days that we have no been on the Slimming World plan I have dutifully stuck to my task whilst she has been enjoying all sorts of sins. Thats sins not syns, to counter the latter we would probably be in the hundreds!

Anyway, I will not complain anymore about my mum as she is after all helping me to achieve one of my goals – even if she is raising my blood pressure to a dangerous level.

Speaking of mothers, the mother-in-law was on the phone this morning convincing my once sporty husband to buy a bicycle he will probably never use… His calm demeanour that has been talking me down after every contact from my mother completely evaporated. He has no intention of using a bicycle – he hasn’t reached the wonderful and saintly acceptance of change that I have yet.

And yet now after a good twenty minutes of well meaning moaning he is discussing bike pumps over Skype and I have no doubt that in another twenty minutes I will be measuring his odd shaped head for a pretty blue batman helmet…

 

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